See You on the Lake

Many of the highlights of every kid's life are the many holidays that America offers us. The importance of some of the holidays may change from one generation to another, but the old standbys will always be with us in all their glory. The two most important ones are probably Christmas and Thanksgiving. Those two we try to do something FOR someone.

We try to do something to show kindness and thankfulness for most all of them except one and that is what the subject is about now; Halloweeen is that holiday that we often try to do something to someone. Why, I don't know but we continue to do it generation after generation. Our really young kids have taken to begging by calling it trick or treat and those whose doors are knocked on may try to scare the hell out of the bumpkins sometimes.

I lived in the age that missed out on the old wagon trick. The big boys would steal some hapless farmer's wagon, roll it to a building, usually the high school and take the wagon apart and move it to the roof of the school and then reassemble it and leave it there for the owner and police department to figure out a move. Ringing doorbells, ringing the church bells, placing a billfold on a walk and we would jerk it away from those who bent to pick it up. Pushing parked cars from a home and pushing it several blocks away and sometimes taking the car from the place we parked it and swapping it back to the other cars spot. Oh we were funny. The only bad thing about this trick was that we couldn't watch and giggle later.

About the best thing that we could come up with was turning over the out house. Almost everyone in the small town had an outhouse or toilet and very few had indoor facilities in the 1930s. We would choose a half dozen each year to kill There were some that we could do every year but we also tried to get a new one or two each year. There were seven of us, all in the same grade and going to the same school, so we always had the time to visit about our evil deeds in detail. On rare occasions we would tip a can and find that it was occupied at the time. We would hear someone scream out and we would drop everything and run for our lives. I don't think that we ever turned one completely over with a person in it until that last fateful night. I won't forget that one if I live to be 500.

It was bad from the get go and got worse not only for the night but for weeks. We had already had a good night of mischief and were about ready to break for home and bed. We were in the neighborhood of "old crazy John" and one of the guys suggested that we finish the evening by doing "old John's" john in. I was not for it because for one thing I was afraid of the old man. I finally relented to the group pressure and said "OK, lets get it done." Old John was kind of a nut and we kept out of his way. He picked up rags, cans, whiskey bottles on his little two wheeled cart and tried to sell them for pennies. He also had a little pea patch and he robbed beehives for honey. He managed to stay alive doing that.

He wasn't a big man and I found out that he wasn't all that old either; the hard way.

We made it to his place and hoarsely made final plans for the attack. We were up to snuff on every detail. We were going to belly crawl to the can, spring up and flip it over and sprint out of the yard into the alley and split on the fly to all our individual homes. Everything was going perfect, we got to it, gave it a collective push and as it went tumbling I thought I heard Gabriel's horn blare out. The loudest, longest, shrillest most terrifying scream that this world has ever heard came from inside that tumbling can. It turned out that all that noise was coming from crazy John's mouth. Yep the old boy was inside the john when he was airborne and he was both angry and scared while we were stunned by all the noise.

Everyone started running for his life and all of us were running blind. It was dark and we were terrified so we were running without any sense of direction - bad things were happening to all of us. One of the kids cut a leg busting through a fence and it took ten stitches to sew him back together again. Another kid was so shook up he stayed in bed for three days and shook for a month. The worst of the bunch was the kid that fell into the uncovered pit, now that the can was off it. He told us later that he had an awful time telling his folks what happened. His mother made him sleep in the garage for three nights. None of us ever turned over another can.

My friends were a lot luckier than I was because Crazy John zeroed in on me as we set sail up the alley. I found out that "Old John" wasn't nearly as old as we thought because he whacked me a good one with his cane on my backside before I got into full running gear. I had broke through his fence getting into the alley I broke blood on both legs on the fence but I didn't stop for fear of death from that flailing cane Crazy John was swinging at my body. I am sure that I broke the world's speed record that night but Crazy John was still batting my backside to a pulp.

I pulled a step away from him in the race for life when I hit the fireplug hidden in the tall grass. It turned me over into almost a full flip and I hit the pavement on my hip. I took off from a football stance and it probably saved my life because I was running exactly back the way I had come and with my head down. I flat ran over the oncoming Crazy John hitting him in the face with my head. It flattened him and I was able to painfully get home. I did not undress for a week and my aunt never knew that I was a virtual cripple for a couple weeks.

I guess that I never played a Halloween trick again on anyone and for that matter it broke me of the habit of pulling practical jokes for the rest of my life. I never thought of "OLD Crazy John" as being old again, Crazy yes, old no.

Buckle Up, Drive With Care, Put On A Life Jacket And I'll See You On The Lake.